Bittersweet

It has been quite some time since I have posted.....but I am today just to help me and get some things off my chest.
This past weekend, on 11/16/13, it was a very emotional, and bittersweet day. I went hunting and shot my first buck. Now some people know why this is so emotional for me and some don't so let me explain.
Ten years ago, on 11/22/2003, I was in a car accident with a deer. It was bad. I was 15 and in the car with my mom and sister. Mom was driving, I was sleeping in the front passenger seat and my sis was in the back behind me. A deer jumped out of the woods, hit my moms side and came through the windshield on my side. The antler managed to lodge in my right temple and eye. It broke off the deer luckily.
I was airlifted to the hospital and had emergency surgery to remove the antler and two weeks later, they had to remove my eye. I now have a prosthetic.
I try not to let it bother me, or at least let others see that it does. I still have dreams about the accident and sometimes anxiety attacks. It seems so have grown harder to deal with the more time that passes. I don't know why. I hate people to look me in the eye so I constantly look away. I also joke about it to make it seem like it doesn't bother me.
When I shot the deer, I was with my Uncle John. That made it even more emotional. He is an amazing man and I don't know what I would do without him or my Aunt Barbara. He came to see me everyday while I was in the hospital even though it was a drive for him. When I couldn't eat before my surgery, he didn't eat because I couldn't. To have my Uncle John beside me at that moment, and to share that excitement with him is a feeling that is hard for me to even describe. Him being there made it 100 times better than I ever could have imagined. It truly was bittersweet.

Crazy, Hectic, Whatever You Wanna Call It!

First, obviously, I have already fallen off the bandwagon. Making time for this is difficult. Even more so than before. Just a pre-warning..this post will be full of updates, info, and of course more than likely a rant...or two. :) And honestly, I am just too damned lazy tonight to bother with posting pictures.....

1st:

Cheyenne started kindergarten! YAYAYAY! She loves it so far and we can already

see improvements and what she is learning. Her teacher is a sweetheart. We have had one

mishap where the school made a BIG mistake and I had to go out there all Mama Bear, but they nipped it in the bud quickly and it has been (cross your fingers) smooth sailing since.

2nd:

I started school! For me that first few weeks of "Yes! I am motivated and a month ahead

on my assignments!", has worn off. Now I'm just ready for December!

3rd:

After much contemplation and making a tough decision, this past Tuesday I put in my

letter of resignation at my current job (AKA- 2 WKS NOTICE!). On Monday

I received a phone call from our local hospital and they offered me a position that I GLADLY accepted! I am ecstatic!!!! I have wanted to work there for so long! I will be switching to 12 hour night shifts, but it will work better with Cheyennes school schedule, and balancing Mikes work+mine+my school as well. (another perk..better pay and benefits!)

Rant:

I have come to the conclusion that I can no longer stomach to read other mama blogs. I just don't understand why women seem to think that as soon as they become mothers they have to give up their hopes and dreams in life. They turn them over for a life of laundry duty and dirty diapers and pretty much being a servant. Another thing is, I know so many people that are so much the opposite of a "Christian", but once they become a "master of domestic servitude", they are all of a sudden bible beating with the ones they hated before hand. It is one thing to be religious....but quite another thing when everyone around you knows that the life you portray on the outside, is only masking the truth. 

I tend to be more of a - I am gonna tell you my honest opinion even if it offends you and you can be mad if you want but if you ask you shall receive kinda woman. I don't hide my past struggles, good or bad, from people because it molded me into who I am today. I may not be proud of who I used to be, but I do NOT regret it. I have lived. Even at my young age of 24. I went crazy and had so much fun and did things I probably don't remember because of stupid choices I made. But I do look back and I laugh and smile and say "Wow, I can't believe that was ever me. But damn...that was fun!!!". And I will tell you one thing...I may have been wild...but I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant and 19 when I had Cheyenne...and that child straightened my ass up!!!

I will never be rid of my red headed fiestyness though! ;)

Told you....Update..info...and random rants....your welcome! jk

Our Parenting...

Since Cheyenne was born, we have never sheltered or censored her. She has seen every one of my tattoos and piercings and her fathers. She has been exposed to people of every race and all walks of life. She has also been exposed to people of different sexual orientations.

It is very important to us that Cheyenne knows everyone is equal no matter what. We are not religious people, but we let her attend church with family if she wants and if she were to ask us to go we would. We want her to make her own decisions and be her own person. We want her to know that whatever path she chooses in life, we support her.

If one day Cheyenne tells us that she is homosexual, we will support her. If she decides to become Buddhist, we will support her. If she wants to be covered in tattoos and piercings, we will support her.

So far, it has worked for us. Cheyenne does love church, but she also loves tattoos, some of her best little girlfriends are African American and Asian. Her Uncle is homosexual. She does see everyone the same. 

Now I do realize that she is only 5, and her perceptions may change, but we have done everything to raise her to see everyone for what they are. PEOPLE NO MATTER WHAT!

I know that some people will criticize our parenting, but that is their issue not ours.

We just want her to grow up to be the best she can be and to find something that she is passionate about.

I will leave you tonight with this video. It is one of my favorite songs and the message is amazing. And yes, Cheyenne loves it too! :)

Balancing Act!

Here we go! If you have read any of my previous posts, you all know that I am Jessica. I am a young mommy to a beautiful little girl, Cheyenne. I also work full time at a local nursing facility, and my babygirl starts kindergarten THIS MONTH!!! Whew….it’s about to get busy!

Adding more to all of this craziness, today I got my official acceptance letter to a community college about 30-45 minutes away. Yep...that’s right! This mommy is going back to school full time as well! I am finishing all of my prerequisite classes so that I can apply for Nursing school. Yay! 

I know it is going to be difficult, hence the title “Balancing Act”. That is truly what it is going to be! I am going to be working during the day, attending 2 classes 2 nights per week, and taking 2 online classes. Add all of that together, plus juggling my homework, Cheyenne’s school, her homework, and household duties! I think I may be crazy!

Luckily, Michael is fully supportive which I am super grateful of! I love school, always have, and attending nursing school is what I have always wanted to do. I am very excited and maybe a little bit nervous at the same time! Now would be a great time for me to go ahead and start working on my time management skills! Wish me luck!

A little something!

That may brighten your day and make you laugh!

This is Michael. We had a weekend alone since Cheyenne was at Tique and Tunks.

And this is what goes on....lol.

Enjoy!

(BTW..he had no clue I was recording!)

It has begun!!!!

The home improvements that is....

Cheyenne went to stay with her Tique and Tunk (my Aunt Barbara and Uncle John) this weekend.

Although I had to work, after I got off we got started on the home improvements.

Michael cleaned the porch and hung some trim around the house while I was at work. When I got off each day, we started on the painting. 

So far we have started painting the kitchen. We are painting it a color called Halogen Green. I LOVE IT!

It is still a work in progress but here are some pics!

I also painted the wood portion of our fireplace to match it. It is definitely not finished...I am painting the brick black.

The rest of the living room and sitting areas are going to be Canvas Tan, but we haven't started that yet!

More updates coming soon! :)

Back to School!!!

Next month, my baby girl will start kindergarten. I am both happy and sad about this. I am happy to have her around more children and learning more. She did attend pre-school and daycare so she has been used to that, but since summer started she hasn't been. She seems to be both excited and a little bit hesitant at the same time. A plus is that she LOVES homework (so far). Now lets just hope that continues. :)

 

On another school note, I am hoping to get back in school...again. I am trying to get into the LPN

Program at James Sprunt! :) I REALLY REALLY HOPE I GET IN!!!! I have known that I wanted to go into nursing ever since I can remember, and since I already work in a nursing facility it's another step up! I will keep everyone updated on my progress!

 

BTW...we are painting the house this weekend. :) I will post pics as soon as I can.